we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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