fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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