I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize