my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
