Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still dying that you shit outside
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
