It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
