Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
