There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i drank out of a bidet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
