I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
