Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
