I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
