But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize