he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just pee around me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
