dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
