we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
