so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize