Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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