it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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