three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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