it's like iHOP with fire
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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