Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
