Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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