His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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