Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize