Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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