and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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