he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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