I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
