I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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