do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My vagina is officially offended.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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