Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
