dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
