we have pet lesbian snakes
id be glad to
my shit smells like andre
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
