She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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