So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize