No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
