turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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