Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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