Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
