i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
jump out the window naked night went bad
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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