Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
