I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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