Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
