dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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