I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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