Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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