I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
