dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
