the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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