That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
