I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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