yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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