My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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