help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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