I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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