i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize