Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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