I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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