Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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