I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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