I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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